The hospital and the firemen

The Face Mask

I went back to the hospital to check on my right ear today, it has been 26 weeks since it gave me big problem in august last year. Doctor said it looks ok now but there are still potential problems until I would agree to have the surgery to fully 'correct' it. Well... I just don't want to do it yet, maybe I am afraid, especially seeing the sleepy eyes of the doctors. I feel bad for them, they should have enough rest, or rather it's the economic downturn or medication politic system that makes them so tired...both physically and emotionally. However, it seems to be a global norm that doctors are overworked...I think I would have the operation one day, it is not fun if it inflames again. There is no need to go back for checking again unless I would like to have the operation.

Okay that's about the hospital.

The Cracks

To the brave fireman who lost his life and those injuried in yesterday's fire, my salute to them and their families. I feel worse about the news today because I walked pass that building when I was on the way to see the doctor this morning. Flowers, offerings,  reporters, firemen, their families, people who came to pay respect and lots of fire apparatuses were there. The smell of burnt was still there, water on the floor, emotionless faces around. I didn't bring my camera today, it's too sad, I am just not strong enough to look at the people there for one more second, I would burst into tears. Yes that's me, tears fall down so easily, even just by reading the news online. That's not necrssarily a bad thing, just that it's quite annoying sometimes. Too much sad news around the world lately, earthquakes, tsunami, snowstorm.  

Sometimes I wonder if the sad news worth more reporting or the world has too little happy news to report?

Anyway, tomorrow is another new day.

Breaking Dawn in Turkey

My Old Friend

Dated 27th Feb, 2010.
I had a weird dream last night, a dream full of music.
I was composing a song, a song that is meant for violin I guess. I pretended playing violin when I was composing the song, and I heard drums and fruitful sounds of string instruments.I don't remember the whole song when I woke up this morning, but I remember the first phase of the song.
This dream reminds me of an unfinished piece I was writing about a year ago. Maybe it's time to turn it into a complete one :):)

I want to say sorry to my piano.

It has been with me for more than 15 years now. I loved it... I loved it until my intrinsic interest was totally destroyed by external forces (pushy teacher and parents [I love them no less] that redirected my interest to exams and lots of meaningless unenjoyable practices).

I loved playing the piano in front of the whole school when I was in secondary school during morning assembly. I love to fill people's day with music the first thing they walked into school hall. I love music lessons, listening to classical music and operas.

I love, especially, composing songs that reveal my inner emotion world. I love playing music and sing beautiful songs with my friends.

I come in front of you as I am today, wanting to know you in a brand new way.

Dated 7th March, 2010.
I played the piano today, for myself. I didn't really play the piano for myself all these years, or I didn't know how to play the music for myself. The play today reminds me why I love playing and composing songs in the first place - to make others smile.
Music has such a magical power. If you try to concentrate on listening to music, any kind, even pop music, you could lose yourself there, forgetting all the worries and problems just for that few minutes.

Today's play gave me a new feeling and emotion towards my piano, my old friend.
I think I found the old feeling when I first touched her, and I would love to make music with her once again.